Royal Ascot
Lord and Lady Eftie Nudge are keen Racegoers and the dates of Royal Ascot are penned into their diaries in permanent ink every year.
‘ Over the past 300 years, Ascot has established itself as a national institution; with Royal Ascot becoming the centrepiece of the British social calendar,’ states the race-course’s web-site. Doesn’t it sound fun! And you get to look at the Queen too!
This year (as they do every year), the Nudges drove off in the Bentley in brilliant sunshine, down the M3 (through all the roadworks) with a picnic from Fortnum’s in the boot.
How scrumptious it looks!
There is a jolly strict dress code for the Royal Enclosure and Lord and Lady N always look terrifically smart.
The Dress Code for Royal Ascot:
GENTLEMEN
Gentlemen are kindly reminded that it is a requirement to wear black or grey morning dress, which must include:
- A waistcoat and tie (no cravats)
-
A black or grey top hat
-
A gentleman may remove his hat within a restaurant, a private box, a private club or that facility’s terrace, balcony or garden. Hats may also be removed within any enclosed external seating area within the Royal Enclosure Garden. The customisation of top hats (with, for example, coloured ribbons or bands) is not permitted in the Royal Enclosure.
- Black shoes
(information courtesy of: www.ascot.co.uk)
Luckily Lord Eftie wouldn’t dream of pairing brown shoes with morning dress. Neither would he ever wear a customised top hat despite the charms of this one:
The dress code for women is also pretty draconian:
LADIES
Ladies are kindly asked to note the following:
-
Fascinators are no longer permitted.
- Strapless, off the shoulder, halter neck and spaghetti straps are not permitted.
-
Midriffs must be covered.
Lady Nudge is as correct a dresser as her husband. She is a firm believer in formal daywear and shudders at the idea of off the shoulder numbers before it’s time for evening cocktails. Needless to say, her midriff is always covered.
Yours trying (and failing) to picture Lady Nudge in a dress which is
- a) strapless,
- b) off the shoulder, or
- c) a halter neck
and which shows off her midriff at the same time…
What do you reckon? Imaginable?
Goodness. Customised top hats? How terribly vulgar. Tut.
Dear Domestic Disgrace, that’s exactly what Lord Eftie Nudge says. Mind you, the Nudges don’t mind driving about with a personalised number plate on their Golf Cart (‘Eftie 1’).
This seems all rather frou frou. What is the current status of your training? Have you read about something called the Race Across America – if not, you can follow it at http://www.raceacrossamerica.org – it seems a good model that you should be keeping in mind.
Dear Billy, I’ve looked up Race Across America and to qualify, the rules say ‘Racers must travel 400 miles in a “24-hour” Time Trial RQ’. What!! I’m still working on managing 12mph. I think you are being a completely unrealistic mentor, I’m afraid. You are making me feel inadequate.
Stretch goals are very important in training if you are to make progress. I am very encouraged to see that you cycled to and from the Brit Mums event.
Gosh – ‘stretch’ goals is a bit of an understatement isn’t it?
However, I feel mollified that you approve of my cycling efforts at the Brit Mums at least. I really am trying quite hard! I’ve not sat about in a coffee house for simply ages…
I was also impressed by your aerodynamic helmet!
I am too – isn’t it great!
At one point in my life, I used to pass through Ascot from time to time. Have you spent much time there? I remember it as a rather quiet little place with a big hill from the railway station up to the high street. I never actually managed to make it to any of the races – let alone the rarified heights of Royal Ascot. Having now read the wardrobe requirements, I think this is just as well. While I could make some guesses, perhaps you could enlighten me on exactly what a “fascinator” is? Secondly, why has the Agent not taken you to this – it sounds right up his alley.
On an unrelated matter, Emilio wonders why she is not considered a virtual member of the Foyle gang?
Dear Digby D, a fascinator is the feathery thing which is often perched on top of the Duchess of Cambridge’s head. Unfortunately the Agent has no time for the Ascot Races – I think it must be because there are no barbecue facilities by the side of the track.
Re Emilio becoming a virtual member of the I.F.N.F.W C: the committee hasn’t received an application for membership – there is an official application procedure as it is a pretty serious set-up.
I thought that the Agent adored dressing up! On the second item, Emilio believes firmly that any organization that accepts me as a member must have very low standards and I think she will take it very personally if she continues to be excluded.
Please reassure Emilio that The Friday Night Foyle’s War Club is most exclusive. It is an absolute founding principle that all actual and virtual members have to qualify for membership by expressing a desire to join. If Emilio would but apply, she may become a member (virtual) in good time for this Friday’s meeting.