"The Awesome Hen"

An illustrated Newsletter from a virtual English village full of hens

The Road to Self-Improvement

Posted by in Cautionary Tales | 2 comments

compendium-of-wisdomBrown Owl has brought out a Book of Useful Sayings to catch the Christmas Market. It is full of timely advice for those trudging along The Road to Self-Improvement.

Unfortunately this morning I have noticed that far from being healthy, wealthy and wise, I am barely functioning,

barely-functioning-today

Barely functioning

 

As you may imagine, I am determined to:

  1. pinpoint exactly how I got myself into this sorry state,
  2.  learn from it
  3. get a grip for the future.

Where I went Wrong:

Last night after supper, the Agent went to bed and I decided to watch the first episode of  ‘The Crown’ on Netflix. Be warned! Newly wise after the event, I now know I made not just one but two bad decisions.

  1.  I signed up to Netflix
  2. I snuggled up on a bean bag with lots of cushions under a rug, making myself thoroughly warm and cosy.

watching-netflix-0

 

Having enjoyed Episode 1 very much, I thought I’d quickly watch Episode 2:

watching-netflix-1

 

Episodes 3, 4, 5…

watching-netflix-2

 

Episodes 7, 8…..

watching-netflix-3

 

Episodes 9, 10 …

watching-netflix-4

 

…ZZZ zzzz  zzz zz

The Road to Self Improvement 1

 

 

 

Yours vowing never to binge watch Netflix again (but knowing I will do so as soon as Series 2 of The Crown comes out),

Liberty Hen signature

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Stir Up Sunday & The Week in Focus

Posted by in Castle Coop News | 4 comments

Large byline photo Lady Liberty Hen, News Editor

 TAH 11/20-16

It has been another busy week here in Castle Coop…

Monday:

The Awesome Hen is proud to report that Castle Coop was well represented at our local Remembrance Ceremony yesterday. Those there all agree that the sight and sound of the Chinook flying over the War Memorial and the length of the Street to mark the end of the 2 Minute Silence was very moving.

Chinook fly past

 

The Dickin Medal: They also served…

Lady Egality, editor portrait

Lady Egality Maran writes: On behalf of the many dearly loved pets in our  village, Castle Coop is proud to remember the many animals who have served their countries.

 

As of April 2016, the  Dickin medal, instituted by Maria Dickin to honour any animal displaying conspicuous gallantry and devotion to duty whilst serving with British Empire armed forces or civil emergency services.has been awarded 67 times.

http://theawesomehen.com/?attachment_id=14947

A dog receiving a medal while surrounded by a number of men in military uniform

Rob the Collie, receiving his medal

Certificate and medal for Pigeon Royal Blue

Dickin Medal and Certificate for the pigeon Royal Blue

In recognition of all animals who have served in times of conflict, Lady Sebright, Lady Lohmann-Brown, Lady Egality Maran and Lady Liberty Hen put poppies on their dogs’ collars.

martha-and-poppy

 Photograph: Martha wearing her poppy proudly ( she is not very brave & likes her home comforts & she is very aware that those who are brave & self-sacrificing should be honoured).

Source:Liberty Hen

 Tuesday:

Sir-Plym headshot round

A message from Sir Plymouth Rock:

Dear Castle Coopian, 
 
I am writing on behalf of our local Member of Parliament, Sir Hans Welsummer, to invite you to a Public Meeting with him on Friday 18th November at 7pm in the Village Hall. Sir Hans was elected last year to represent the Coop Constituency. He will make a short opening address at which he will talk about life in Westminster as an MP and some of the causes he particularly supports but he wishes specifically to listen to villagers about any concerns that you may have locally or indeed nationally. 
Best wishes, 
 
Sir Plym

Wednesday:

Brown Owl visited several houses in Castle Coop to canvas support for the Advent Church Clean up. She wishes to tell anyone who was out when she came round, that she will be calling back.

Liberty Hen & Brown Owl

Thursday:

During a spell of bright autumnal sunshine, the Agent and Liberty Hen spent several hours collecting leaves in their garden.

raking-up-the-autumn-leaves

 Friday:

TAH Newsletter is pleased to have been asked by our tireless New Year’s Eve Party Committee to reassure all Castle Coopians that plans for the traditional ceilidh are well underway.

Lady Sebright writes:

A few of us have met to discuss the arrangements already. Our format this year will be very similar to last year but there are slight changes to how jobs will the allocated, the menu & cost per head.
This year we’re suggesting we make a Swaddles Pie for the main course, this is a slightly spicy shepherd’s pie. This will allow us to reduce the cost per head to £6 which is plenty to cover the cost of the hall plus a couple of glasses of prosecco for everyone.

 

TAH Newsletter is also delighted to report that the Public Meeting in which villagers discussed important issues of the day with Sir Hans Welsummer (MP) & aired their concerns in a lively Q&A session, was extremely well attended. All agreed that it was a most interesting opportunity to meet our constituency representative in Parliament & the evening was a great success. TAH has been asked to thank Sir Plym formally on everyone’s behalf for all the hard work he undertook to arrange the event as it is very much appreciated by us all.

Saturday:

Lost Cat:  A lost cat has taken up residence in the Ox and Moose. It is black with a white underside. It is being well looked after but if anyone knows where it lives please let the O&M know.

 

 

Stir Up Sunday:

Trev-the-Rev headshot

Rev. T Rosecombe sig

Trev the Rev delivered the traditional Stir-Up Sunday Sermon from the pulpit in St. Mary’s Church with his usual vim & vigour.

stir-up-sunday

Having taken note of the date, Liberty Hen has been tackling her Christmas pudding

cooking-the-christmas-puddingand is keeping her fingers crossed that, although cooking is not a Liberty Hen strong point, the pudding will turn out to be both edible & festive. The Agent was pleased that quite a bit of brandy was added to help it along.

Christmas Pudding

 

 

Yours on behalf of our crack Editorial Team here at The Awesome Hen,

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#LestWeForget

Posted by in Castle Coop News | 0 comments

 

In Remembrance, 24/7

The War Memorial in front of the Village Hall in Castle Coop is one year old today.

This morning, at 11.00 a.m, with its new Poppy Wreath and little memorial crosses, our Memorial Stone looked like this:

 

in-remembrance

 

As the daylight fails, the light comes on:

castle-coop-war-memorial-stone

 

& our Memorial Stone shines in Remembrance all through the night, every night of the year:

memorial-at-night

 

 

Yours thinking it’s beautiful,

Liberty Hen signature

 

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Stop the World: I want to get off!

Posted by in Castle Coop News | 10 comments

reaction to 2016 presidential-elections

 

 

Yours knowing this time, smelling salts won’t be enough…

Liberty Hen signature

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Election Anxiety

Posted by in Castle Coop News | 2 comments

worrying-about-the-election-2016

 

Yours feeling anxious in Castle Coop

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How to Achieve Your Goals in 6 Easy Steps.

Posted by in Castle Coop News | 8 comments

A small brown hen who loves London, cycling, & kindly dogs.

 TAH 03/16

It’s been another busy week here in Castle Coop…

 

The Village Hall boiler has given up the ghost. There is no heating for the pilates classes and worse, no hot water for the washing up after our post-pilates coffee & brownies.

 Our loyal readers will be delighted to hear that The Graf and Lady Egality Maran lost no time in resolutely stepping  up to the mark to resolve the Village Hall boiler crisis. They have been working their heads off co-authoring yet another excellent guide in The Awesome Hen’s popular ‘6 Easy Steps’ Series! We are very proud to preview the abridged edition here in this newsletter for you. All monies raised by the sale of the guide will be donated to the Village Hall New Boiler Fund. As with the previous guides published by the Castle Coop duo, copies with a foreword written & signed by Lord Eftie Nudge, may be ordered in advance from Castle Coop Castle.

 

 

 

We Love Lord Eftie!

 

 

Alternatively, unsigned copies may be bought from villagers taking part in Castle Coop’s Open Gardens during the last weekend of July. 

 

The Awesome Hen’s Guide to achieving all  your goals in 6 easy steps. (copyright: The Graf & Lady Egality 2016)

 

Introduction: How many of us muddle along aimlessly through life? In this little guide, we have endeavoured to help you fill your life with purpose. Learn about forethought and planning,  sign up for our Life map reading course, . read our guide for goal setting and attainment.  Take our 6 easy steps & start checking off those goals!

The Method:

  1. Decide on your goals & write them down.
  2. Keep on the list only those goals which are both realistic & achievable; ruthlessly cull the rest.
  3. Set out the tasks needed to make these goals a reality in an orderly list.
  4. Assemble all equipment required to perform each task on your list in advance. Doing so will ensure you give yourself the best chance of success. If by nature you incline to a more haphazard approach, please bear in mind that neither Valerie Singleton nor Konnie Huq ever embarrassed themselves by having to interrupt the Blue Peter show to nip out  to the shops because they’d run out of fairy liquid bottles & sticky-back plastic.
  5. With list and equipment assembled,  get cracking on those targets.  Go to it!  Pull out all the stops! Work your head off to make your dream happen!
  6. Remember (for what it’s worth..)
  • Ad astra per ardua!
  • Fortune favours the brave!
  • There’s many a slip ‘twixt cup & lip!
  • Rome wasn’t built in a day!
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again!

 

  • In conclusion: We hope that reading this guide will transform your life. We should like to thank all those without whose hard work, this guide would never have be written. All rights reserved.

 

Tried and Tested? Castle Coop Villagers commissioned!

In the interests of integrity,  The Awesome Hen’s  latest addition to the ‘6 Easy Steps’ series of guidebooks was of course, thoroughly tested on your behalf before publication.

Trev the Rev, Brown Owl and Liberty Hen all undertook to follow the guide’s instructions meticulously and agreed to report back saying whether or not they’d achieved their goals successfully.

This month’s Prize Competition!

Below are the lists of personal goals which Trev the Rev, Brown Owl and Liberty Hen all drew up in an effort to achieve them by following TAH’s latest ‘6 Easy Steps’ guide. The first reader to match each list to its correct author will win a virtual bottle of fizz. Please send all competition entries to: The Editor, TAH, Castle Coop.

Disclaimer: no Castle Coop villager is allowed to submit more than one entry (see reg. 1034)

Which villager wrote which list?

who wrote which list 2


N.B All entries to this month’s Prize Competition should be received by 30/08/16 

‘Choosing the possible?’

A personal journey towards either success or failure… (by Liberty Hen)

Following the ‘6 Easy Steps’ guide’s advice as to how to achieve my goals, I ruthlessly culled all the impossible ones & admired the orderly appearance of the two words left on my list in a nice, neat, straight line. Fired by enthusiasm and hope I embraced the idea of hard work, tenacity and grit; in a jiffy I was fearlessly tackling the ‘Assemble all equipment required to perform each task on your list in advance’ step. . Hurrah!

First piece of essential equipment: An exciting Met Office report.

Hello sunshine

Second piece of essential equipment: An essential recipe.

scrumptiousness in a glass!

I had to ask The Agent to go rooting about in the attic for the deck chair (third piece of essential equipment). Unfortunately several encounters with cobwebs made him rather grumpy for a short while but harmonious relations were re-established quickly.

 

Result:  Success! A win for The Graf and Lady Egality! I am delighted to attest that having meticulously taken the advice set out in their really excellent new guide, I am now able to be happy in the sunshine. Yay!

-How to be happy

 

Why not try their methods out for yourself & transform your life in 6 easy steps?

Yours on behalf of our crack Editorial Team here at The Awesome Hen,

LLH signature

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