A Clean Church for Good Friday

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A Clean Church for Good Friday:

The Call to Arms:

Last week, I received this trumpeting ‘Call to Arms’ in my inbox:     Dear Castle Coopians, Castle Coop Needs a  Clean Church! Easter is fast approaching. Now the village has been properly spruced up, we need to muster the troops and declare war on all the cobwebs and mud which have  invaded the church interior during the winter. The Easter Church Clean will be on Wednesday 16th April 10am to Noon. Let me know that you are able to come and help and I shall enrol you in the Cleaning Corps. Don’t forget.

Brown Owl  


Reporting for duty at St. Mary’s yesterday morning, ready for a head to head fight in the name of Spring Cleanliness, I found High Command directing operations from half-way up a ladder.   2014-04-18 19.30.56.jpg


This strategic position offered a brilliant vantage point from which to oversee the battle while simultaneously attacking spiders from the left flank and brushing them off the windows. The clouds of disturbed dust surrounding her were testament  to Brown Owl‘s fantastic Field Marshal capabilities. Here are the weapons with which I was issued to effect a vanguard Coup de Main against the enemy:

  •  Mop (Standard Issue)
  • Bucket (dating from previous campaign)
  • Soapy Water (courtesy of South East Water Co.)

The Campaign:

I set to wielding the mop on the Church Porch floor front line:

2014-04-16 11.59.30

Inside other members of the Cleaning Corps performed a  scouring pincer manoeuvre involving water, soap and dustpans and brushes. In the rear guard, Brownies armed with Brasso and dusters were earning marks towards their ‘good citizenship’ badges while the two Misses Pepperpot  – Eglantine and Clementine – wafted about rubbing lavender polish into the pews. Colonel Pyncheon counted up all the prayer books and hymnals and replaced them in orderly rows.

We  didn’t need the full 2 hours to get St. Mary’s ready for the Good Friday Service. By 11.30 we had a sparklingly clean Church

church nave

and so had time in hand to properly appreciate the Chelsea Buns and coffee 


which Lady Sebright kindly brought from her house to refresh us all. Yum!

A Vote of Thanks:

Brown Owl, waving a mug of coffee rather wildly about, gave a vote of thanks to the workers, very loosely based on the ‘Never in the field of human conflict..’ speech. Apparently, the Cleaning Corps showed ‘verve‘!


Yours dustily,


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