What’s What & Who’s Who:
Make some tea immediately and sit down with your reading glasses! You’ve found The Awesome Hen; the only newsletter to give you a visa straight into the virtual village of Castle Coop without any queues at passport control.
In these pages and posts, my friends, neighbours & I give you the low-down on our lives in a tiny English village where nothing ever happens but where village affairs keep us all very busy.
The Awesome Hen is a blog full of dollops of English Village Life in glorious technicolour, intended to make you feel quietly fab!
Liberty Hen: Editor of The Awesome Hen, Castle Coop’s informative newsletter.
Me!
The Agent:
My mentor and life’s companion spends a lot of time pulling me out of scrapes. He loves Manchester United, barbecues and books about the First World War. He and the Chairman of the Village Hall solve the world’s problems while propping up the bar at the Ox and Moose.
Lady Egality Maran: Fashion Correspondent:
My best friend. She shares with me in life’s joys and picks me up during life’s sorrows. Lady E has excellent I.T. skills and always wears elegant clothes. This year we are planning to write a pantomime together for Christmas called, ‘Death comes to Castle Coop‘.
Brown Owl: Editor of the recently published “Castle Coop’s Compendium of Wisdom”.
Oh dear…, where do I start? Brown Owl enjoys organising Castle Coop – rather a lot more than we enjoy being organised. A formidable member of the Parish Council, she has heaps of energy, wears sensible shoes & enjoys being on a mission. Brown Owl has called me ‘Gloria’ for so long now, I respond automatically. One day Brown Owl is going to lecture me about not having reminded her that my name is actually Liberty and… it will (of course) be all my fault.
Lord and Lady Eftie Nudge: Castle Coop’s local celebrities.
Lord and Lady Eftie Nudge live at Castle Coop Castle. Within the village they go out & about in a Golf Cart but use the Bentley for trips further afield. Both Lord and Lady Nudge make regular appearances in the Society pages.
Colonel Beverly Pyncheon: Motoring correspondent:
Col P. wears salmon-pink corduroys in the winter and drives a British-racing-green Jaguar which is powered by electricity. He grows a sponsored moustache for Movember (which receives a mixed reception) and mans the Village Hall during Elections when it becomes a Polling Station.
Lady Sebright: Culture Correspondent:
Lady Sebright lives next door to Colonel Pyncheon. Now sadly a widow, Lady S & her husband were Missionaries overseas before returning back to the UK to retire in Castle Coop. Once she told me that she’d planned to be a ballet dancer at Covent Garden but then she fell in love and moved abroad.
Sir Plymouth Rock: Sporting Correspondent:
Sir Plym is married to Lady Egality. He throws wonderful parties, celebrates high days and holidays by smoking a cigar. He plays golf at St. Andrews and once kept wicket at Lords. Sir Plym works through The Times’ cryptic crossword while eating his breakfast.
Lady Lohmann-Brown: Gardening Correspondent:
Castle Coop’s Gardening Guru. Lady Lohmann-Brown is the only one of us who isn’t thrown into a complete panic by the annual Open Gardens Fundraiser. She is fantastic at flower arranging! Everything she does, she does beautifully.
Pc Ixworth: Crime Correspondent:
Pc Ixworth fights crime in Castle Coop by reminding us to keep our garden shed doors locked. He patrols his beat on a push bike which is fitted with sat. nav. and a holder for his mobile & he is partial to a chocolate biscuit & a chat.
The Reverend Trevor Rosecomb: Religious Correspondent:
The Rev. Rosecomb used to be an Air Force Padre & has left his heart in the Military. He always uses the 24 hour clock and wears highly polished black brogues (when not wearing gum-boots).Held in great affection, he was given a party to celebrate his Silver Anniversary of Ministry in the Parish.
The Graf von Blommehön: Bridge, Board Games & Christmas Crossword Correspondent:
The Graf is Chairman of The Friday Night ‘Foyle’s War’ Club. He spends most of the year in Castle Coop but always summers in Scandinavia.
Miss Eglantine and Miss Clementine Pepperpot: Proof-readers for TAH:
The Misses Pepperpot mean well… The two sisters live at the Eastern edge of the village. Eglantine usually talks about ‘pirates‘ instead of ‘Pilates’. Any grammatical or spelling mistakes which you notice in The Awesome Hen means they’ve lost their glasses again.
Disclaimer: The villagers you meet in The Awesome Hen live in the virtual village of Castle Coop and nowhere else. They are entirely their own selves and have no alter egos in either the actual or the virtual world.
As Editor of ‘The Awesome Hen’ , may I offer you an official joyful welcome into our virtual village of Castle Coop? Please be careful after dark as there’s only one pavement & no street lighting.
Yours editorially,