"The Awesome Hen: News & Views from Castle Coop"
A Very Small Village Newsletter (with pictures)
Wasps versus Mojitos? No contest!
Wasps versus Mojitos? No contest!
Of late, I have been distracted from doing all sorts of things that I shouldn’t allow myself to be distracted from doing. The summer sun has gone to my head.
Unfortunately, while I’ve been busy making the most of the blissful recent heat wave…just look at what’s been growing in our flower beds.
In my absence the garden has joyfully let rip.
Today I fully intended to spend a virtuous afternoon mowing, digging, cutting & raking…
but then suddenly a vicious wasp flew in out of nowhere and launched an unprovoked attack on my forehead.
Is Discretion the better part of valour?
What would you have done in the circumstances? I made an executive decision to retire gracefully.
making the most of the summer sun with a magazine & a mojito near to hand
IMO, wasps versus mojitos? No contest!
Yours warmly recommending the combination of sun + deck chair + magazine + mojito,
The Road to Self-Improvement
Brown Owl has published a pamphlet of Useful Sayings to catch the Village Hall Coffee Morning Market. It is full of timely advice for those trudging along The Road to Self-Improvement.
Unfortunately, despite my regular New Year resolutions to evolve into a fine upstanding villager, I have noticed that far from being healthy, wealthy and wise this morning, I am in fact, barely functioning.
Barely functioning
As you may imagine, I am determined to pinpoint exactly how I got myself into this sorry state &
- learn from it
- get a grip for the future.
Where I went Wrong:
Last night, I didn’t go to bed early. In fact, I didn’t go to bed at all. After supper, the Agent went to bed and I decided to watch the first episode of ‘The Crown’ on Netflix. Be warned! Newly wise after the event, I now know I made not just one but two bad errors of judgement.
Mistake #1. I signed up to Netflix
Mistake #2. by snuggling up on a bean bag with lots of cushions under a rug, I made myself too warm and cosy.
Having enjoyed Episode 1 very much, I thought I’d quickly watch Episode 2:
& Episodes 3, 4, 5…
& Episodes 7, 8…..
& Episodes 9, 10 …
…ZZZ zzzz zzz zz
Yours vowing never to binge watch Netflix again,
Stir Up Sunday & The Week in Focus
TAH 11/20-19
It has been another busy week here in Castle Coop…
Monday:
The Awesome Hen is proud to report that Castle Coop was well represented at our local Remembrance Ceremony yesterday. Those there all agree that the sight and sound of the Chinook flying over the War Memorial and the length of the Street to mark the end of the 2 Minute Silence was very moving.
The Dickin Medal: They also served…
Lady Egality Maran writes: On behalf of the many dearly loved pets in our village, Castle Coop is proud to remember the many animals who have served their countries.
As of April 2016, the Dickin medal, instituted by Maria Dickin to honour any animal displaying conspicuous gallantry and devotion to duty whilst serving with British Empire armed forces or civil emergency services has been awarded 67 times.
Rob the Collie, receiving his medal
Dickin Medal and Certificate for the pigeon Royal Blue
In recognition of all animals who have served in times of conflict, Lady Sebright, Lady Lohmann-Brown, Lady Egality Maran and Lady Liberty Hen put poppies on their dogs’ collars.
Photograph: Martha wearing her poppy proudly ( she is not very brave & likes her home comforts & she is very aware that those who are brave & self-sacrificing should be honoured).
Source: Liberty Hen
Tuesday:
A message from Sir Plymouth Rock:
Dear Castle Coopian,I am writing on behalf of our local Member of Parliament, Sir Hans Welsummer, to invite you to a Public Meeting with him on Friday 18th November at 7pm in the Village Hall. Sir Hans was elected last year to represent the Coop Constituency. He will make a short opening address at which he will talk about life in Westminster as an MP and some of the causes he particularly supports but he wishes specifically to listen to villagers about any concerns that you may have locally or indeed nationally.Best wishes,Sir Plym
Wednesday:
Brown Owl visited several houses in Castle Coop to canvas support for the Advent Church Clean up. She wishes to tell anyone who was out when she came round, that she Will Be Calling Back.
Thursday:
During a spell of bright autumnal sunshine, the Agent and Liberty Hen spent several hours collecting leaves in their garden.
Friday:
TAH Newsletter is pleased to have been asked by our tireless New Year’s Eve Party Committee to reassure all Castle Coopians that plans for the traditional celebratory ceilidh are well underway.
Lady Sebright writes:
A few of us have met to discuss the arrangements already. Our format this year will be very similar to last year but there are slight changes to how jobs will the allocated, the menu & cost per head.
This year we’re suggesting we make a Swaddles Pie for the main course, this is a slightly spicy shepherd’s pie. This will allow us to reduce the cost per head to £6 which is plenty to cover the cost of the hall plus a couple of glasses of prosecco for everyone.
Swaddles shepherd’s pie (Serves 6-8 )
- 1 large onion
- 6 cloves garlic
- Sunflower oil
- Salt and pepper
- 1 red chilli, chopped
- 2in fresh grated ginger
- 1/2 tsp turmeric
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1/2 tsp ground allspice
- 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
- 900g/2 lb minced lamb
- 1 tbsp tomato purée
- 1 tbsp lemon juice
- 1 tsp fresh thyme
- Fresh coriander
- Mashed potato made with 900g/2 lb potatoes, and extra butter for the top
Preheat oven to 190C/370F/Gas 5. Peel, chop and saute¿ the onion and garlic gently until softened in a couple of tablespoons of sunflower oil, sprinkling a bit of salt on. Add the chopped chilli and ginger and the spices, then add the meat and brown it. Add the tomato pureé, lemon and thyme and simmer gently for about 40 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, throw in a couple of tablespoons of chopped fresh coriander, cover with mounds of mash, dot with butter and bake in the oven for about 30-40 minutes. You want a bubbling, crustily browned top. Serve with cumin-spiced carrots.
Source: Tamsin Day Lewis at The Telegraph
TAH Newsletter is also delighted to report that the Public Meeting in which villagers discussed important issues of the day with Sir Hans Welsummer (MP) & aired their concerns in a lively Q&A session, was extremely well attended. All agreed that it was a most interesting opportunity to meet our constituency representative in Parliament & the evening was a great success. TAH has been asked to thank Sir Plym formally on everyone’s behalf for all the hard work he undertook to arrange the event as it is very much appreciated by us all.
Saturday:
Lost Cat: A lost cat has taken up residence in the Ox and Moose. It is black with a white underside. It is being well looked after but if anyone knows where it lives please let the O&M know.
Stir Up Sunday:
Stop Press: A big thank you to our readership from TAH editorial team for all the detective work; the cat has been reunited with its owners & is now safely back home.
Trev the Rev delivered the traditional Stir-Up Sunday Sermon from the pulpit in St. Mary’s Church with his usual vim & vigour.
Having taken note of the date, Liberty Hen has been tackling her Christmas pudding
and is keeping her fingers crossed that, although cooking is not a Liberty Hen strong point, the pudding will turn out to be both edible & festive. The Agent was pleased that quite a bit of brandy was added to help it along.
Yours on behalf of our crack Editorial Team here at The Awesome Hen,
Our Anniversary!
Our Anniversary!
Today The Agent & I have been married for 32 years!
Sir Burford Brown came by and seeing our Anniversary cards, kindly wished us a happy celebration. Then he asked if we’d realised that these days, you get less time for murder & roared with laughter.
We were married at 2.30 in the afternoon and The Agent was late as he went to the wrong church first by mistake. Without realising he was at St. Francis’ church instead of St. Michael’s, he walked all the way up the aisle with his Best Man, only to find another Groom in morning dress already seated in the front pew glowering at him.
10 reasons why I’m glad the Agent realised his mistake & didn’t marry the other bride
(who apparently was extremely pretty) instead of me :
- I like remembering him singing ‘Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer’ at our wedding.
- I don’t think my life would be much fun without either him or the Chicks major, minor and minimus in it.
- He always brings me a cup of tea in bed on Saturday & Sunday mornings.
- He doesn’t get cross when I wake him up in the night to tell him something I’ve just thought of.
- He doesn’t mind when I burn the supper. I hope that he doesn’t anyway.
- He makes me laugh.
- He showed me how to use the gears on my bike and then showed me again.
- He gives me flowers.
- He didn’t get cross with me when I pranged his car.
- He shows me where the constellations are in the night sky and tells me what the stars are called.
1 reason why the Agent might be glad he married me:
- There are many, many skills which alas, I don’t possess but I do happen to be an excellent remover of spiders. As it turned out, this has come in very handy during our marriage for while the Agent turns pale if he spots anything moving with more than 4 legs, I remain calm. Isn’t that lucky? And…perhaps the other bride might have hesitated at the altar if asked to sign up to 32 years’ worth of arachnid disposal.
Yours hoping that he really didn’t mind too much when I dented the car,
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Decision Making
Decision Making
Making up my mind in the post- Christmas sales has taken longer than expected…Hmmm…
Certainly not!
Not quite what I had in mind…
Perhaps I could try just shuffling along?
Eureka!
Yours decisively,
Captain Frank G. Harvey
Captain Frank G. Harvey
In memoriam Bede College, A Co, 8th Battalion DLI…
Part 3
(click here for Part 1 and Part 2)
Just before WLS and his friends, Tutty and Bob H. posed for this photograph at the Army Training Camp in Conway, whilst on their Senior Year summer vacation,
Bede College, Durham, had bidden farewell to a long-serving member of the Senior Faculty, Captain Frank G. Harvey.
Harvey was a much admired member of the Bede staff, and greatly respected by the students who affectionately nicknamed him, ‘Captain Cardboard’. When interviewed by Harry Moses in the 1980s, WLS spoke of him with much affection, saying with enthusiastic emphasis,
“…oh, he was a great fellow!’
Captain Harvey in 1912:
A Warm Tribute:
The frontpage of this June 1914 edition of the Bede College magazine, features a warm tribute to Mr Harvey who was leaving Bede after 14 years to study for a BA at Cambridge.
Just 2 months before the outbreak of WW1, Capt. Harvey thought he was going up to Cambridge University in October 1914. He had no idea that his immediate future would actually lie far away from Cambridge’s academic cloisters, commanding his former students in Front line trenches.
Captain Frank G Harvey – a brief biography:
Frank G. Harvey joined the Bede Staff in 1900, straight from Peterborough Training College. His appointment was as Arts Tutor and Assistant Master in the Model School. In 1902, there is a Sgt. F.G. Harvey in the Bede Company (then part of the 4th Volunteer Battalion D.L.I., later 8 Bn. DLI in 1908). He was a keen tennis player, coach of boats and President of the College soccer club. In 1904, Frank Harvey was appointed the headmaster of Gilesgate Council School in Durham and trainee teachers from Bede (including WLS) used to hone their classroom skills there.
As all fit students were expected to join the Bede Company on starting college, WLS and his best friends amongst the Junior Year of 1913, Tutty and Bob H knew Harvey (who had been promoted to Captain in 1909) very well.
Captain Harvey commanded ‘B’ Company (the Bede Lads) until the Territorial units were re-organised shortly after the commencement of the First World War, to reflect the organisation of the regular battalions i.e four companies per Battalion and not eight. When the Durham City Platoons merged with the Bede Company to form the new ‘A’ Company, it was commanded by Frank Harvey.
Thus it was their well-loved Captain Harvey who led the Bede Lads, (including WLS, Tutty and Bob H ) off to fight in WW1.
A Distinguished Post-war Career:
Frank Harvey finally made it to Cambridge. After WW1 ended, he went to Queen’s College, where he took a degree in History at the age of 42.
He joined the Army Education Corps as a Captain in 1921 and was posted to India.
In 1926 he was appointed M.B.E. In 1928, he was promoted Major. In 1931 he was with London District as Command Education Officer and was presented to King George V. He retired in 1937.
Yours ever,
(click here for Part 1 and Part 2)
#FridayFitness: the Press-up
Castle Coop’s #FridayFitness Class: Exercise of the week:
Exercise and physical activity are a great way to feel better.
Winded by grocery shopping or household chores? Regular physical activity can improve your muscle strength and boost your endurance. Exercise and physical activity deliver oxygen and nutrients to your tissues and help your cardiovascular system work more efficiently. And when your heart and lungs work more efficiently, you have more energy to go about your daily chores.
(Source: Mayo Clinic )
The Press-up:
Today’s #FridayFitness exercise is the Press-up which is designed to build muscle strength and boost endurance. Apparently of all the exercises one can do, the press-up is one of the most effective: should you wish to improve your pectoralis major, anterior deltoids and triceps, there is nothing that tops it. Those who are skilled at performing press-ups can further improve themselves with a brisk rendition of the Military Press-up.
To do regular pushups, you bend your arms and lower your chest until it breaks the plane of your elbows. Military pushups require a full range of motion: Marines must touch their chests to the floor for every pushup.
Source: www.ehow.com
To enjoy the many benefits of the Press-up however, you may be glad to know that you don’t need to be a Marine or even to join the Army.
Yours imagining Samson’s press-ups were probably a bit more successful than mine, before horrid Delilah went & cut off his hair,
If you would like to become a virtual member of our Castle Coop fitness classes, do sign up in the comment box below – we should all be delighted to welcome you.
So as you know what we are doing, so far we have practiced:
Our class is held at 10.30am in the Village Hall – we all drink coffee together after the class and eat Brownies kindly cooked by Lady Sebright. They are delicious and immediately undo all the good work of our class.
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A Cautionary Tale
A Cautionary Tale
Just in case any of you are thinking of Spring Cleaning in the near future, I thought I should post this cautionary tale so that you may take an informed decision as to whether or not it’s a good idea…
What happens when Martha Stewart cleans her windows:
Miss Martha Stewart, America’s legendary home-making guru, instructs:
Dirty panes are no problem when you use rubber-edged squeegees, which are quicker and more effective than cloth or newspaper. They come in a variety of sizes — and a screw-on extension will let you reach high spots.
To start, dip a sponge into a bucket of warm water and a few drops of mild dish soap. Wet window; rub dirt away. Dampen squeegee; starting at an upper corner, draw it down pane from top to bottom. Repeat, overlapping strokes and wiping rubber edge with sponge after each stroke. (For large windows, ”snake” squeegee back and forth; then touch up edges.) Dry windowsills with a cloth.
(Source: www.marthastewart.com)
What happens when I clean my windows:
Feeling inspired, I decided to clean the insides of my windows a while ago. I don’t have a rubber-edged squeegee but I equipped myself with a proper glass cleaner and an e-cloth so I could feel pleasantly like Ms. Stewart.
While I was rubbing a few dirty spots away, I happened to notice a small cobweb just at the top of the window, under the curtain pelmet.
While I was de-cobwebbing the curtain, I realised that actually there were dreadful cobwebs all over the house so I had to spend ages wobbling about on top of a ladder while wafting around the vacuum cleaner with all its extension tubes attached.
I ended up wearing several cobwebs which is not a great look. The washing machine had to go into overdrive and there was no hot water left for my emergency bath.
Once the walls were de-cobwebbed successfully, I suddenly noticed that they could do with a paint.
While I was painting the kitchen, I saw that the skirting boards were horribly scuffed and needed a good sanding down.
After I’d finished with the sander, I discovered I’d been a bit over-enthusiastic and had to apply 2 tubes of wood filler to fill in the dents I’d made.
Having filled up all the holes and sanded everything down again, I then had to remove all the cupboard doors from their hinges and take off the handles
so that I could paint all the woodwork.
When I took the cupboard doors off to be painted,
I had to tidy up everything in the cupboard before it all fell out onto the floor.
After I had re-hung the doors on their hinges, I found some un-nerving left-overs which I don’t know what to do with.
I also found some paint splodges on the floor and had to steam clean it. As I had the steam cleaner out, I decided to whizz it over the curtains and discovered the lining in one pair had torn and needed replacing. Mending the curtains took up all a weekend I had been carefully saving for better things. When I re-hung the curtains, I noticed that the windows needed cleaning.
I believe Messrs Flanders and Swann once suffered a similar circular problem and were inspired to write a song called, ‘The Gas Man cometh’; they lived off the royalties for years.
And the moral of this cautionary tale is…
Before you decide to embark on anything rash, do please decide whether you resemble Martha Stewart or me most closely so that you can plan the forseeable future accordingly.
Yours vigorously querying the assertion that, ‘Dirty panes are no problem’,
Caveat Emptor!
Brown Owl’s Rallying Cry – Caveat Emptor!
Good gracious! Look who I have just found in my inbox!
Lord K has been roped in to spearhead a firm email from Brown Owl. Determined not to let any grass grow under our feet, she is clearly wasting no time in mustering the support of The Big Guns.
OPEN IMMEDIATELY: THIS EMAIL MEANS BUSINESS!
To ALL Upper, Lower & Castle Coopians,
With the General Election seemingly in full swing, albeit still many weeks away, I have asked our local candidate for the constituency of which we form a part, to join us in Castle Coop Village Hall at 7pm to listen to me make a short address.
I shall inform our local candidate that the District Council is currently basing its Local Plan on the assumption that over 7,000 new homes will need to be built in the area. I shall then ask our local candidate to mingle with us with us so that we can all discuss before the election everything that makes this constituency tick, what the big issues are and how we should like to be represented.
Please turn out in force.
Ensure our local candidate understands what The Coops stand for.
The doors will open at 6.30pm There will be a cash bar and the Brownies will be handing round refreshments so that they may earn points for their Hostess, Community Spirit and Civic Duty Badges.
Carpe Diem!
Ad Astra per Aspera!
Caveat Emptor!
Rally to the cause!
Caveat emptor? Is Brown Owl getting a little carried away?
Yours, hoping that no disasters (such as nearly happened to the Agent’s birthday raspberry tartlet) occur to the Brownies’ refreshments,
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RIP Foyle’s War
RIP Foyle’s War
Despite 1) Lady Sebright’s sound advice that we should celebrate the pleasure that Foyle’s War has given the Friday Night Club rather than mourn its demise and 2) the absolutely delicious festive fizz which Colonel Pyncheon kindly opened for us to sip while watching ‘Elise’ the final episode of Foyle’s War, I can’t help feeling sad. Tonight as the closing credits went up on the screen, I felt they were marking the end of a most convivial era.
Valedictions:
One of the best ever youtube clips – actually I could put this on a permanent loop; I’ll never get tired of it: www.youtube.com
The Globetrotting Guitarist: The End of an Era
Telegraph: Is this really goodbye?
ITV.com: Final Foyle’s War episode
Digital spy: Foyle’s War to end
What’s on tv.com: Last episode of Foyle’s War
& for a great last look at Foyle walking out of our lives for ever… British Detectives
Message to all Actual and Virtual Members:
As Secretary to The International Friday Night Foyle’s War Club, it is my sad duty to inform you all that owing to the unhappy fact that Foyle’s War is officially a defunct series, our happy meetings are now at an end.
On behalf of the Friday Night Foyle’s War Committee, I should like to take the opportunity of thanking each of you for many happy meetings and your supportive and interesting comments. Here from the sofa in Castle Coop, we have greatly enjoyed watching:
- DCS Christopher Foyle’s sleuthing, hat-wearing and general total fabness skills,
- Sergeant Milner’s unflappable stoicism at (almost) all times
- Sam Stewart’s terrific stiff-upper-lip at all times (presumably honed on the hockey pitch), cut-glass-vowels & unbounding enthusiasm in the face of every sort of looming disaster.
Being able to share our enjoyment not only with each other but with all the Virtual Members of the International Friday Night Foyle’s War Club has made our meetings the icing on the end of the week cake for me!
I should like to invite you to join The Graf (Chairman), Lady Egality (Treasurer), Lady Sebright, Colonel Pyncheon and me in raising a glass to all those involved in the making of every episode in the 9 series which have given us such pleasure.
With a framed Foyle’s War photograph of my 3 favourite TV characters – DCS Foyle, Sergeant Milner & Sam Stewart placed in position for the last time,
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you,
The Hat!
Yours with the ‘Michael Kitchen strumming the Foyle’s War theme’ clip playing us out (& I’ve turned the volume right up high),
P.S. I have received a revivifying suggestion from Miss Peppermint who writes,
‘Why not start a re-run club? It’s always better the second time around…‘
HURRAH!
What a stroke of genius! OR…perhaps we should think of a new series for us to watch?
If you have any ideas, please let me know. The Friday Night Club could rise from the ashes like the Phoenix…!
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Feeling a bit meh? Is your standard information diet – The Times, Le Figaro, Die Welt, The Washington Post et al… ok for global news but not quite cutting it on those all – important village updates?
Catching up with ‘The Awesome Hen’
Want to join us but don’t live in Castle Coop? You’re in luck ! Yay!
Our crack Editorial Team at The Awesome Hen:
News Reporter
Lady Liberty Hen
WW1 Centenary & Barbecue Enthusiast
The Agent Pastoral Guide
The Rev. Rosecomb (aka Trev the Rev) Film and TV Buff
The Graf von Blommehön Gardening Guru
Lady Lohmann-Brown Party giver Extraordinaire
Lady Egality Maran Sporting Correspondent
Sir Plymouth Rock Author of '101 Ways to Organise Everything & Everyone'
Brown Owl Castle Coop Local Celebrity
Lady Eftie Nudge Castle Coop Resident Tourist
Julia. I'm allowed to be present at editorial meetings so long as I sit at the back & colour in quietly. 
Content Copyright 2020
All original content copyright The Awesome Hen 2020.
All rights reserved.
All the villagers you meet in The Awesome Hen live in the virtual village of Castle Coop and nowhere else. They are entirely their own selves and have no alter egos in either the actual or the virtual world.